November 15, 2010

I don’t really have much of an intro for this one so you are spared my usual incoherent ramblings..(yippedidoo I hear you say). In any case, I would  just like to say that if you notice any of these symptoms puhleesseee.. I am begging you.. for the sake and sanity of the people around you.. get yourself checked in to the furthest mental institution from the rest of the population that you could find and don’t bother checking out.. better yet.. just ask them to throw away the keys into a volcano! 😛

1) You think you are the most googled person on earth when you are neither Britney Spears nor Lady Gaga.

2) You go around telling people that you were discovered in a club to start a career in  a seedy B-grade stripper joint public relations because apparently the idiot expert that discovered you thought that you had what it takes judging from the slutty way you were gyrating to rich old horny men professional way you carried yourself and interacted with others.

3) You seem to have it in your head that you are a major celebrity just because you paid to be on the cover of Majalah Mangga some random obscure magazine using your father’s company’s money.

4) You don’t leave home without your five-inch make up even when just walking out to pick up your laundry at the front lawn.

5) You think hospitals can afford many MRI machines- one for each part of the body (oh wait.. that’s not really crazy that’s just dumb! Nevermind….)

6) At 50, you sincerely believe with all your heart that a highly accomplished professional 80-year old lady hates your freaking guts because you are way younger and hotter than she is.

7) You tell people that you are a Datin without ever being married to a Dato’.

8) You wear a huge bowl of cereal fruits on your head and think you are a fashionista that can give Victoria Beckham a run for her stilettos.

9) You think you are well suited to lead a huge corporation just because you were once tasked with the monumental responsibility of holding on to the teacher’s gigantic ruler and slamming the palms of those who made noise in class when you were in kindergarten.

10) You get your panties in a bunch when people blog about cats.


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