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TOP TEN JOB INTERVIEW Q & A DON’TS

November 18, 2010

1. SCENARIO 1

  • Interviewer : Hello.. good afternoon. Okay Ms Repulsive, why don’t you start by telling us a little bit about your self
  • You : My name is repulsiverina but you can call me Baby or Darling coz that’s what my mom calls me. Oh..you can also call me Bootylicious coz that’s what my boyfriend calls me coz hey! Take a load of this junk in my trunk! (*stands up and turns around to demonstrate)

2. SCENARIO 2

  • Interviewer : Why should we hire you?
  • You : Well… let’s see, I am smart, driven, compassionate, possess strong work ethics, able to meet crazy deadlines and oh..if you don’t hire me, I may just be forced to kill you!  

3. SCENARIO 3

  • Interviewer : So.. why did you leave your last job?
  • You : (*Looks around conspiciously, turns and softly whispers*) Don’t tell anyone but my former boss is an alien from Planet Zirgon who has been sent down to Earth to spy on us before his entire race come over and invade our planet. I caught on to his dirty little secret and I swear to God I’ll expose him to the world when the time comes!!  

4. SCENARIO 4

  • Interviewer : What was the biggest challenge you have ever had to face in your career?
  • You : I once had to convince the President of my former company that I was just looking for my fallen contacts..when he barged into the VP’s room whilst I was kneeling on the floor…under the table..with my VP’s belt buckle in my mouth…

5. SCENARIO 5

  • Interviewer : What are the special skills you possess that will make you excel at this job?
  • You : Umm..its not listed in my resume.. but if you lock the door and draw the blinds..I can show you…

6. SCENARIO 6

  • Interviewer : So..tell us..what are your long term career aspirations?
  • You : Career. asspp..asspp what? I’m just here to meet the hot men in your brochures!

7. SCENARIO 7

  • Interviewer : What are your expectations from this position?
  • You : I expect to be able to save enough money to purchase an electric guitar, start a band, join battle of the band, win the battle, get a record deal, release an album and go on a worldwide tour.

8. SCENARIO 8

  • Interviewer : Tell us about your academic and professional qualifications …
  • You : Hah! I think education is overrated! But does being a professional female mud wrestler count?

9. SCENARIO 9

  • Interviewer : Have you ever held a leadership role in any organisation?
  • You : Yes. I am currently spearheading a notorious criminal empire on Mafia Wars. 

10. SCENARIO 10

  • Interviewer : Do you have any questions?
  • You : Yes. Are you going to eat that (*points to half eaten sandwich on interviewer’s table)

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