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CLUBBING 101

November 19, 2010

repulsiverina’s guide to a nocturnal life of fun and adventure!!

Over the last couple of years ..I have become an avid clubber of sorts.. swaggering in and out of clubs (posh or otherwise) faster than you can say “Hilang mana pompuan gedik nih..” “What’s your plan Saturday night?”

Given my vast experience on the subject matter, I feel compelled to share with you my favourite sacred list of “observations” that will guarantee you a night of fun and adventure!!

Enjoy!

1. Hotness – refers to your sensuality and desirability ratings to members of the opposite (and in some instances/clubs similar) sex..NOT your average body temperature and sweating capacity

2. ID – being asked for one when you are obviously above 21 is an insult..being asked for one when you are obviously above 21 (but not so obviously) above 25 is a compliment!!

3. Rubbing your crotch against a chic’s back on the dance floor is neither sexy nor seductive and WILL NOT get you laid 😛

4. If a huge tray of shots seemed to have mysteriously appeared on your table.. chances are your mate BOUGHT them!

5. No matter how hard u try to work it, a bright red boob tube on a huge pot belly coupled with a purple floral pleated skirt with ruffles and a laced- up black and white wedges IS NOT FASHIONABLE!!

6. NO.. you do not have to wear Kesatria-Baja-Hitam-Paris-Hilton-styled shades in a club..the place was darkened and filled with bright blinking lights for a reason.. 😛

7. Unbuttoning a guy’s shirt after meeting him for two seconds just because he is German..is NOT cool!! And never will be..

8. If you suddenly discovered that the turntablist of the night is your friend..it is polite to stick around and pretend to enjoy at least a couple of sets..no matter how crappy unsuitable the music is for you.

9. Having the lead singer of a band single you out for a dance -VERY FLATTERING. Having the same lead singer later approach your table, buys you a drink and tells you that you bear an uncanny resemblance to his dead ex girlfriend in a thick Indonesian buruh kontrak accent -NOT FLATTERING AT ALL!!

10. Galliano Shots – avoid at ALL cost! Failure to take heed may result in temporary amnesia, severe loss of coordination, total shut down of bodily functions, lack of emotional control, lavatory-induced slumber spells and waking up in the deserted home of a mid-thirties widower.

 

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2 comments

  1. Haha, I am assuming you experienced #9? 🙂


  2. hey rico. thanks for dropping by and yeah unfortunately I experienced #9 and most of the stuff in this post. siiggghhhh



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